a "backwards" wedding

The day after the engagement ceremony, the bride and her family fulfilled more religious rituals and traditions throughout the day... 
Erin and I joined her family for breakfast and lunch... and then in the early evening we started getting ready for the big event!


After we were all wrapped up in our saris, we rode to the wedding site with the mother of the bride... 

Around 8:30 or 9 we pulled up to a beautifully lit, old farm house... and so begins the tale of the "backwards" wedding...

front of farm house

entrance from the road

the yard in front of the farm house

one of the food stations

inside the wedding hall... in the front is the stage where the bride and groom sat

another view of the hall...showing the DJ and dance floor on the left - not much dancing took place though... it was a little disappointing!

The buffets of Veg, Non-Veg, Punjabi, and Chinese food!

The servers ready and waiting to pass out the appetizers and drinks

enjoying some yummy chicken tikka!

The guests arrived… and everyone was talking and enjoying the appetizers… some inside, but many outside under the canopies… 

Then it started to sprinkle… and then sprinkle harder….

About the same time people were rushing in to the farm house, fireworks were going off and we heard music playing – drums, trumpets, and other horns – announcing the arrival of the bride (or so I guessed)….

The sounds of the band got closer and closer until they joined us under the covering… and through the crowd I noticed that it was the groom who had arrived!

the band, complete with uniforms! well... most of them anyway! :)

that's the groom with the bead-covered face 

Then, to the band’s music, the groom’s family began to dance!

Once everyone was settled into the large room, the groom made his formal entrance, spotlight leading the way!

friends of the bride

He took his place on the stage and waited for his bride. Usually the groom only has to wait for about 30 minutes… but for this bride (because it was taking her a little longer to get ready than planned), he (and all the guests) waited for two hours!

Around 11 p.m. the lights were dimmed and a spotlight settled on the doorway letting us know the bride had come! She “shyly” but beautifully made her way to the groom and joined him on the stage.

Here comes the bride!

Garlands were exchanged, signifying that they were welcoming each other into their lives. No words were spoken during this time… but plenty of pictures were taken by all of the cameramen!

                                                   

The family of the groom even played with the bride by pulling the groom away as she tried to place the garland around his neck! She got it on there though!

After this, it was just a bunch of sitting. During this time, guests could finally eat (now that the garlands had been exchanged) and they could also go up on stage to once again offer gifts and congratulations.

Don't worry, we had matching bangles for our saris too!

With the mother and great-aunt of the bride

After all the pictures had been taken with the guests, the couple went outside for a photo shoot and everyone slowly began to leave…

By now it was after midnight, and still, they weren’t really married.

More time passes… the bride and groom finish their photo shoot and then they come inside and sit down for a meal with their families… so we wait some more…

By now, only the close family and friends are still around. Those of us not a part of the immediate family sit and wait while they eat…with the staff clearing out the chairs and decorations…

And still, they aren’t married.

After 1 a.m. the remaining guests and family walk outside to the Mandap... 

There’s one more ceremony to do… and it’s the biggie - the one that makes them officially husband and wife!! The party was over and it was time for the wedding ceremony to begin!

with the bride just before the final ceremony

The bride's Mehndi. This is a ceremony done a day or so before the wedding with the bride's closest female friends and family members. They say the darker the color the stronger the love!

           

  It's so, so intricate! The groom's name is even hidden in the designs! Also, those red bangles are part of ANOTHER ritual done the day of the wedding. They are to be worn by the new bride everyday for a least the first 3 months of her marriage, or even during the whole first year!

We take our seats… the groom sits across from the priest… He and the mother of the bride (because the father of the bride has passed away) do a series of prayers and offerings before a holy fire - which is said to be a god and witness of their marriage - as the priest recites various sayings from their scriptures. The priest does all the talking in Sanskrit, so only the priest understands what is being said/chanted (however, every now and then he would explain something in Hindi so it could be understood)… and I'll be honest...I understood 0% of what was happening, but you better believe I took pictures of everything!

After about an hour of this, the bride joins the groom in front of the fire (just earlier I had asked the bride if she would have to do all the things the groom was doing and she said she didn’t know what she would have to do!). So, they pray and make more offerings… some things are repeated by the groom in Hindi... and from the little research I've done since being home, this is what I've learned....

The bride and groom are joined together with a knot, symbolizing their union as husband and wife 

The brother of the bride puts parched rice into the hands of the bride and then together with the groom  they offer the rice as a sacrifice to the fire. During this time the bride is supposed to pray to the god of Death for long life, health, happiness and prosperity for her groom.

The couple walks around the sacred fire 4 times, each round representing a life goal: religious duties, prosperity, earthly pleasure, and spiritual salvation

The bride stepped on this stone with her right foot symbolizing her being strong in their marriage and helping her husband as they face enemies and difficult times.

details of the bride's sari

holding hands as they walk around the fire... signifying that they will travel life together through thick and thin...

After the 4 rounds, the couple takes 7 steps together. It's tradition that if they walk these 7 steps that they'll remain together for a lifetime. With each step a promise is made:

• The first step is taken to earn and provide a living for their household or family, and avoiding those things that might harm them.
• The second step is taken to build their physical, mental and spiritual powers and to lead a healthy lifestyle.
• The third step is taken to earn and increase their wealth by righteous and proper means.
• The fourth step is taken to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith.
• The fifth step is taken to have children for whom they will be responsible and blessed with healthy, righteous and brave children.
• The sixth step is taken for self-control and longevity.
• The seventh step is taken to be true to each other, loyal and remain life-long companions by this wedlock.

This is the couple symbolically taking their 7 steps together

The groom blesses the bride by putting a red powder on the part of her hair and he places a necklace around her neck which symbolizes their love and sacred union 

items used in the puja (worship ritual) 

Around 4 a.m. the ceremony was over and the bride and groom were finally husband and wife!!

We eventually made it back to the hotel and got into bed just as the sun was rising...!

It was a little backwards (and a LOT longer!) from the kind of wedding I'm used to... but it was a special thing to be included like family and to be apart of such an important day in our new friend's life!